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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391364">House of Cards</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelgaHeason/pseuds/HelgaHeason'>HelgaHeason</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abstract, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, Metaphors, Retrospective</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:00:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>394</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelgaHeason/pseuds/HelgaHeason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You know how it goes...</p>
<p>... Don’t you?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>House of Cards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written in May for a uni assignment - but recently I noticed some connections to Destiel, specifically from Dean’s point of view.<br/>And so I decided to upload it here after a little nudging from some of my friends.</p>
<p>There is no explicit death, just a line at the end that states a past death. If Dean’s death triggers you, please leave now.</p>
<p>And, without further ado, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You know how it goes. You draft it out, you plan it meticulously, and then it all falls apart - like a house of cards.<br/>
You build it back up, your touch featherlight and your fingers shaking with tremors below the surface - and the house of cards comes tumbling down again.<br/>
Life’s a lot like that. It refuses to stay put, to stay still, to stay where you want it to.<br/>
Is it truly worth it, to try and hold it down? To try and tame the beast that claws so wildly at your heart, scratching at your lungs and mauling at your bones?<br/>
Is it truly worth it, to trap the caged bird? To keep it contained, never to flutter and fly away again?<br/>
The house of cards must be fragile, delicate, and unable to stay steady.<br/>
A boat far out at sea, ships passing in the night.</p>
<p>You know how it goes. You write it down, you read it out, and yet words fail you.<br/>
You try again, and again, your voice strong and clear, sunny and bright as the daybreak - but no sound comes out. The house of cards collapses.<br/>
Life’s a lot like that. A mockery of all you try to do, all you attempt to achieve and bear witness to.<br/>
A candlestick, perhaps; fleeting glimpses of beauty and what may be, over far too soon.<br/>
A house made of cards; with us trapped inside. Someone said that once, someone significant to you, lurking in the back of your memory.<br/>
Like a sakura, a cherry blossom, blooming and dying soon after. But death keeps life going.<br/>
The house of cards represents life, in a simple way - the growth and fall of a person’s life, of a card tower.</p>
<p>You know how it goes. You yell, scream, shout out in the darkness - but nobody hears you cry.<br/>
You cry, sob, scream until your throat is hoarse, begging for somebody, anybody, to notice you. To hear your screams and to see you.<br/>
But nobody ever does, and you wonder just why you continue to scream.<br/>
The house of cards topples when you scream, and flutters away in the wind as if nothing more than a featherlight petal.<br/>
A petal, perhaps, from a wilted sakura; a flower that has bloomed and died, as all flowers do, as all life does.<br/>
As you did, once.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>While this was written sometime this May, I’m uploading it for a friend, who both beta read this before I decided to upload, and is a partner in a project that I couldn’t be more thankful for.</p>
<p>This one’s going up for you, Jo.<br/>Thank you. 💜</p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p>The title comes from BTS’ House of Cards, and there is a translated lyric included.</p>
<p>The connections I noticed:<br/>- Missing chances / life as a hunter and how it’s pretty much the only thing he knows (he likely couldn’t give it up properly)<br/>- Struggling to reciprocate / the prayer in 15.09 / being silenced<br/>- Struggling under Michael / struggling under the Mark of Cain<br/>It’s quite a dark fic, this one.</p>
<p>If you’ve made it this far in the notes, thank you for reading!</p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p>I’m on Twitter and I take fic commissions, DM me here:<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/HelgaHeason">Helga Heason</a></p>
<p>Help support my work by buying me a coffee here:<br/><a href="https://ko-fi.com/helgaheason">Helga Heason Ko-Fi</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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